Pillow-case Affair

Woman sleeping

I walk and the tears begin to fall….
I don’t know why and I’m sure i don’t care
Because it feels good to let my tears become one with the air.
I take slow strides down memory lane
Only to be greeted with the sharpest of pains
Seeing the faces so plain,
How could i not know that these relationships were fake?
Why did i think they’d make perfect soul mates?
When it was all give and no take.
The empty i love yous,
the lack of trust,
the broken promises covered up by an intensified lust.

As the tears slowly roll down my face into the creases of my lips
I feel my heart beat begin to slip,
thinking about the many lies I’ve heard come from their lips.
Wondering where I went wrong,
none of this makes any sense..
A heart like mine can’t withstand but so many dents…
My eyes becoming blood shot red
Reminds me of the lonely nights i spend in my bed,
holding my pillow tight as these thoughts run through my head,
I should be nestled in the arms of another beating heart instead.
I can’t even imagine how different things would be
if there was no them and there was no me,
It’s becoming really hard to see.

Is there anyone out there who only genuinely needs me,
wants me,
And will do anything to make my heart beat the way it should be.
How is it possible to love the way I do and still get played like a damned fool.
I feel like maybe I’m not good enough,
like maybe my love is just too tough…
The faces are starting to fade my heart develops a new kind of pain,
It’s getting dark and my hurt is turning to rage…
It’s eating away slowly at the depths of my soul,
My once warm heart is becoming ice cold.


YOU ARE PATIENT (personatta)

This perfectly should follow the two APOLOGY series

Poetical Gab


Deep breaths, as I calm my spirit.
You are so, sickeningly beautiful,
my mind isn’t broad enough to wrap around you.
Perfection should be your middle name,
Or maybe perfectING is more like it,
You’re patient.

You saw me for what I was,
But what I wanted to be mattered more.
You were patient.
A broken shamble in front of your eyes,
but you insisted on cleaning me up.
You were patient.
Trying to fix me is gonna leave you with bloody fingers,
I warned you.
Though I’m easy to laugh with,
I am hard to love,
I told you.
Like a broken frame,
glass lays over something you find so beautiful.
You were patient.

Deep breaths, as I try to gather my thoughts,
I can’t hurt you.
It’s been a journey, or a boxing match, rather..
I am turned into my own corner, arms flailing.
You are so new…

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