Numbing my pain with a smile

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Numbing my pain with a smile,
I need alone time for a while,
but I feel alone,
with no home, hate in my tone,
and hiding emotion I have previously shown.
My eyes and hands are seeking affection,
even though I know it’s the wrong direction,
you and this stranger have the same complexion.
I feel the person I used to be coming out,
and I’m afraid no doubt,
because I don’t know what this is about.
I thought I was a new man before my world was shaken,
I don’t know if I was just faking,
but i hope that this was a bad dream and I pull you closer when I awaken….

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AWAKENING

Awakening

Awakening
I am giving birth to myself,
That is what is happening here.
A new life is birthing itself from the old
And I am midwife, mother and child.
I am the process of awakening
And I am its glorious outcome.

This half-life, this shadow world,
Jostling with loss and pain and fear
Is not real, it is nothing compared to
The indescribable magnificence
That is concealed behind and within
What most of us accept and call life.

And now, it is falling away,
It is dissolving,
Hour by hour and day by day,
My faith, my love for this life of Oneness,
Is nudging me from darkness into light,
From separation towards unity.

This new life is the life I was born for,
I exist in a world where the idea of me
Is, was and will be.
I inhabit a world within a world,
A world that is neither past nor future.
This new, joyful existence is no dream.

I am birthing this world
Into physical reality.
I am stepping into the creative process
And weaving a world from the very strands
Of Life itself, from the building blocks of creation.
I am awake, I am aware, I am Love made manifest.